Starting a Conversation & the science behind hearing your name -

I remember when I first moved to a small town in Minnesota.  Having been raised in a much larger suburb in Michigan, I wasn’t accustomed to people, let alone total strangers, saying “hello” as I passed by or waving their hand as I drove by. It was a greeting that I quickly became fond of.  It always made me smile inside to be acknowledged.  Do your greet people? Do you say “Hello” when passing someone by? Call out a person by name? A study published in Brain Research shows hearing your name activates brain regions responsible for thought patterns and behaviors related to your identity and personality markers - a fancy way of saying you automatically feel more engaged and better about yourself.

So how does one remember a person’s name. In any given day, you are bound to encounter people whom you do not know or haven’t seen in a while. Here are some tips for remembering a person's name: 

• Repeat the name: Repeat the name right after you learn it, and throughout the conversation. Repeating the name helps imprint it in your memory. 

• Use the name: Use the person's name in conversation as soon as possible. For example, you could say "It's nice to meet you, (insert name)". 

• Write it down: Jot down the name and some details to help you remember it. You can write it on paper, make a note on your phone, or create a voice memo. 

• Ask questions: Asking the person a question gives them the opportunity to speak, which helps you anchor their name in your memory. 

• Use a mnemonic device: Mnemonic devices can help you remember names by taking advantage of the brain's ability to encode, store, and retrieve certain information. 

• Connect the name to a visual image: Try to think of a prominent feature of the person's face. 

• Break down complicated names: Ask the person to spell their name and break it into syllables. 

  
  

And it’s not just hearing your name. A Gallup poll found that greeting six neighbors regularly, by a simple “hello” can lead to peak social, community, career, and physical well-being. For financial well-being, the ideal number of greetings is 11 to 15 per day.

Now that you know a person's name, why not strike up a conversation? One tip I learned in a class was to use the mnemonic FORD:

                  F – Family – ask about their family. People love to talk about their family.

                  O – Occupation – ask their occupation.  Current and past.

                  R – Recreation – what do they do in their spare time.  Hobbies/Interest.

                  D – Desires/Dreams – What is it they are resolving to do in the coming year. 

Conversation Starters

• Open-ended questions: These questions can help you learn more about the person you're talking to by listening to how they answer. 

• Childhood experiences: Sharing childhood experiences can help you bond with someone and learn more about them. 

• Food: Food is a popular conversation starter. 

• Music: You can talk about the music you enjoy and recommend specific songs. 

• Tell me about yourself: You can ask someone to tell you about themselves. 

• What's been the best part of your day? You can ask someone what the best part of their day was so far. 

• What's your favorite thing about your hometown? You can ask someone what their favorite thing about their hometown is. 

• What's the last thing you bought online? You can ask someone what the last thing they bought online was that they really loved. 

• What's a hobby you've always wanted to pick up? You can ask someone what hobby they've always wanted to pick up. 

• What's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about you? You can ask someone what the nicest thing anyone's ever said about them was.

Remember, when we address someone by their name we can make their day by helping them feel special. This is especially important to the elderly, or those who live alone as both may not have the opportunity to hear their name often. As the holidays bring you into more social gatherings, go ahead and introduce yourself to someone new. Who knows the difference that "hello" might make or who you might meet?

Until Next time,

Dawn, MCPC

*Dawn is a Master Certified Professional Coach with over 40 years of empowering, leading & training others in professional direct sales, real estate and fitness & wellness goals.  She is available for on-line or in-person individual or group sessions. You can reach Dawn or get more information at: LLECoach.com